Full circle Heartfelt meeting offers closure for twin

By CANDACE CHASE

The Daily Inter Lake

When Jolene Donner listened to her twin brother's heart beating in John Cunningham's chest last weekend in Kalispell, she said it felt as if a new family member had filled the empty space in her own heart.

"It was like I had come full circle," Donner said.

It was a journey that began Sept. 10, 1995, when her brother, Erik Price, 24, died by suicide.

Donner rushed to Kalispell from Washington, where she was living at the time. Erik lived for 12 hours, then was kept alive on life support.

Donner recalled leaning on her brother's chest, listening to the heart beat but knowing that her twin was gone. A day later, Erik's heart was taken to Washington, where it gave life back to John Cunningham, 57, of Port Orchard.

Donner said her mother, Myrna, knew that Erik would want to be an organ donor. In the midst of her grief, she allowed the tragedy of her son's death to extend the lives of four people and return eyesight to a fifth.

"Even though she was hurting, she did something great," Donner said.

Erik's family, which also includes his father, Jerry, another sister, Shawna, and brother, Lane, buried him in Conrad Cemetery. For years, they battled the mix of grief and anger familiar to families who have lost a loved one to suicide.

"I've had every single emotion 50 times over," Donner said.

After three years, she decided to try to contact some of the recipients of Erik's organs.

Her mother gave her an unopened letter, dated Sept. 18, 1995, that gave a few details of the recipients. It explained that she could write a letter requesting a meeting, but recipients must agree to have their names shared.

Donner wrote several letters but received no response.

In 2001, she moved from Washington back to Eighth Avenue West in Kalispell, the street along which she grew up with Erik and their family. Donner said she and her husband wanted that environment for their daughter, 5-year-old Naomi .

When she noticed a phone call June 22 from John Cunningham on her caller ID, it never crossed her mind that it was related to her letters to organ recipients.

"He said 'I just got your letter yesterday,' '' Donner said. "Apparently, it had been floating around in his medical files all this time."

She was floored and hardly knew what to say. Cunningham told her that he had wanted to meet her family the day after the operation. She said she warmed to his voice at the other end of the line.

"You can hear his smile on the phone," she said.

When he asked whether she still wanted to meet him, Donner's first thought was to wait until her husband came into port in Washington.

But the next day at work at Paper Creations, she was so excited she knew she couldn't wait that long. Donner called Cunningham back and asked whether he could travel to Kalispell as soon as possible.

"He sent me 12 pink roses," she said. "It was really sweet."

Arrangements were made for Cunningham to drive over on June 30. Donner was knocking on his hotel-room door within minutes of receiving his call from the WestCoast Outlaw Hotel.

Donner said she was a little nervous. Later, Cunningham told her that he had spent the whole time pacing back and forth in his room.

"When he opened the door his hands were all shaky and we hugged," she said. "It was great."

Donner said he understood when she explained her mother was still hurting too much from Erik's suicide to face a meeting with the recipient of her son's heart.

During a weekend spent touring the Flathead Valley, Donner learned that Cunningham had suffered from an enlarged heart. He admitted the condition was self-inflicted from drinking and smoking. He eventually quit, but it was too late for his heart.

From the day he received Erik's heart, he said he suffered no rejection. Donner joked that that was probably because her brother had the same vices but not for so many years.

A 20-year veteran of the Navy and the father of three children, Cunningham was featured in a (Bremerton, Wash.) Kitsap Sun story featuring unsung heroes. In the story, Cunningham described how receiving a new heart transformed his life.

"God has a reason for me still being here," he said according to the article.

He became director of "Save Our Sons," a program for boys ages 7 to 12 years sponsored by the Ebenezer African Methodist Episcopal Church. The program aims to keep young men involved in church and school through tutoring, workshops and fun activities.

"I've had a lot of wonderful things happen to me. I feel like I should give back," he told the writer, Chris Henry.

During his Kalispell visit, Cunningham told Donner that his energy went from a four to a nine thanks to her twin brother's heart.

"I said 'Well, you're 68 with a 35-year-old ticker,'" she said with a laugh.

He kept thanking her, but Donner said that they both had received a gift.

She said that he lives just the sort of life that a person would hope a heart recipient would live. Donner said she knows that he was "good in his heart" before he received Erik's.

As she got to know Cunningham, she noticed several parallels with her brother.

Not only were they born under the sign of Aquarius, she said, but also Cunningham and Erik shared a great sense of humor. He demonstrated that trait as they walked through the Kalispell Center Mall talking to various people.

"He would say 'That's my twin sister,' " Donner said.

By the end of the visit she said she had gained a new brother.

Donner said she felt that her brother was watching over the visit when she noticed a Pepsi truck like the one Erik drove pulling into the Outlaw Inn just as she did.

Then a butterfly flew by her just as she and Cunningham visited Erik's grave. Donner has a butterfly tattooed just over Erik's name on her ankle.

After the visit, Donner recorded some of her thoughts on paper. She came back to the symbol of a circle as giving closure, yet the comfort of continuity.

"I put my ear to John's chest and felt his beating heart," she wrote. "Erik did good."

Reporter Candace Chase may be reached at 758-4436 or by e-mail at cchase@dailyinterlake.com.